March
24
THE CRAYONATER
Quickly I ran as fast as I could to get as far away as possible from this bomb witch when it went off it turns everything and every one in to crayon in its radius and it that happens to me a quarter of cydny would melt all of the people would die but luckily enough I had the antidote if I could get into another bomb with that radius I could save cydny and the people just where could I get a bomb . The factory when I was in there I put it in therethere, BOOM every one saved .
I’m pleased to see your work Ryan. It is always exciting stuff. Could you have a go at reading out loud to someone and check the punctuation. Remember when you’re doing a quick write the edit bit is really important. Even super heroes have to check that its as good as it can be!
I can certainly see why anyone would want to run away as quickly as possible Ryan! Can you remember how you can split your writing up into short sentences to make the reader feel even more worried?
Mrs Murrin
Ryan, well done for your writing, exciting stuff. I like your use of ‘if’. Remember countries start with a capital letter.
Keep up the blogging.
Ms Liddell