July
16
The new species by Isabelle 100 WC
The zesty yellow shone down on the Zoo. Sweat trickled down the workers necks. However there is no time to loose an animal has been found seriously injured in it’s pen. All of them sprinted over like Olympians. Worry spread across the faces like illness: the animal was hardly breathing. On it was a cactus, the sharpest in all land, and a heavy stripy umbrella. How could an animal do so much damage?
The vet rushed over but by this time the animal had died. The hunt was now on for the culprit.
There it is a smelly old … Zebra.
Good use of colon:explanation again Izzy. Well done.
Check those tenses again- sentence 3 has slipped into present tense.
Clever weaving together of the selected words, Izzy. Small grammar ‘hack’: if you start a sentence with a However then it needs a comma.
Good stuff.