Dream Giver By Willow
Flying from the blackness, a small creature landed gently on the edge of the windowsill. He stared, then peeked through the wooden shutters, slowly pulling a notebook from his pocket. He looked over his shoulder: 2655 Kenzington Avenue, he was at the right place.
He carried a chestnut sack over his shoulder blazing golden light seeping through, he placed it on the corner of a single bed. His hands curled into a ball. Quietly, he shifted the bag and out came an egg, he cautiously cracked it open. A warm yellow serum ran down the center of a pair of ballet shoes.
A perfect shaped ballerina meandered until it reached the top of a small girls bed cover. It leaped and turned until the her mind turned to a dream, it was only until she woke up the following day will be when she knows magic is always real.
These reads really well, Willow. Your word choice and storytelling make this an enjoyable quality read.
To enhance this, I would follow Pie Corbett’s advice of ‘if it feels like a full sentence it probably is’. Read through and decide where commas could be replaced with full-stops.