June 30

Dangle part 2 by Isabelle

I hit the rope again. Still no response. There was one thing to do: give it a strong pull. I latched on to the aged golden ring. Three, two, one. Pull. In a flick of a second, everything went black. My jaw dropped. I had found the city’s light switch. This was amazing.

I couldn’t help my self I had to do it again. I looked around wearily. Just have a quick check. If I get caught, goodness knows what my punishment would be. A fine, a prison sentence or worse: a death sentence. I had turned on the EVERNIGHT.

My heart missed a beat. Car wheels squeaked. Screams came from all around. I’d better turn it back on now: this is unfair to all the other people. I pulled it again to turn it off. But it was reluctant to do so. Oh no I have broken the main light switch to the city. I’m going to be in so much trouble.

I have to evacuate other wise the painted will track me down. This is now the exhausting race of hopeful live or a gory and unfortunate death.


Posted June 30, 2020 by isabelle55 in category Uncategorized

2 thoughts on “Dangle part 2 by Isabelle

  1. mrsmurrin

    Great editing- remember how you can use a colon now to show that a second sentence explains the first. Check tenses to stay in the same one consistently (usually past)

    Reply
  2. erin055

    By doing short sentences you have built up lots suspense. And that really makes me stop and think, and I like how you’ve described the rope and how it aged you have defiantly done show not tell and that it is very good. Well done keep up the good work. 👍😃

    Reply

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