July
9
On The Shore- Pobble 365- By Jess
He stood alone by the shore, his dark clothes blowing in the damp wind. A swarm of Flying Death passed by and he watched as several trees dicintegrate, turn to dust and then spiral away in the wind.
Hs fingers snapped and for a moment there was silence, peace across the now destaught land: a result of the WW3 where all populations were wiped out by a suicide pilot crashing into a area in Russia where several atomic bombs had been dropped with a 3 minute countdown for all air- borne soldiers to get away.
A fiend came running toward him and a Shinigami jumped on its back
Wow, your scene-setting language is fantastic in your opening paragraph, Jess. Your image of the trees disintegrating and spiralling in the wind is a disturbing picture.
Could you have a quick look at how shortened sentences in the second paragraph would aid readers?