June
29
Dangle Sebastien
The man trudged through the snow, going on a winter walk on the hills near the city. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jumper to keep out the cold. As he walked over the top of the hill, he spotted a long cord hanging from so high in the sky that he could not see the top. He could not help wondering whether he should pull it…
Some well chosen verbs here Sebastien. Do you think you could have added some more emotion into this piece? What atmosphere does the industrial scene create? What is the man thinking?
A concise and well-structured piece but as Mrs Murrin suggested some emotion and scene setting would enhance. Good work as ever though.