May
13
100 word challenge By India
As the deafening screams echoed through the cold night the little boy walked past as a chill fell down his back. A few minutes had past, the sun had started to go down and the wind was now a cold fresh air running through the thin clouds.
Suddenly an ancient man came from round the corner walking slowly and limping on one side. The little boy sat and thought wondered where he was, was he lost, in a forest. No one knew but today was the time where someone had to help this town and for it to get its life back.
You build nicely on the eerie start with your setting and then a character- that chill, those thinning clouds and the mysterious limp.
Take a look at your opening sentence again- you have written AS twice, which doesn’t quite work. The second AS could be replaced with AND perhaps.
Ooh….who can help this town? There’s a lot of mystery in this story. You set the spooky scene very effectively with your opening sentence. Check your clauses (nouns with verbs) and see if you can add commas.
I’m always impressed with how much can be squeezed into a 100 words!