April 30

Our Treehouse! – 100 word challenge-Olivia

Flames had risen up last night; it was ruined. Burnt wood was everywhere, the sign we had made was shatered like thousands of frafments of glass. Our treehouse, destroyed. Lucy came running up to me, she boughed her head in silence. Gently, water trickled under my feet. Ash smells filled the air. I collected the broken sign and layed it down by the charred tree.

“What shall we do?” Lucy murrmed, I said nothing.

The next day Lucy was there again and this time the tree creaked over. Every night the glowing moon shone on the old, burned, lifeless tree.


Posted April 30, 2020 by olivia054 in category Uncategorized

2 thoughts on “Our Treehouse! – 100 word challenge-Olivia

  1. mrsmurrin

    Its clever the way we don’t find out that its a treehouse immediately. Your description of the scene is very vivid.
    The first sentence of your final paragraph seems rushed- perhaps you could have focussed on how Lucy felt rather than simply stating what happened.

    Reply
  2. Mr Tudge

    Lovely piece of work Olivia. Your description of the tragedy is very atmospheric. I agree with Mrs Murrin about conveying the character’s emotion. You can give a sense through, eyes welling up, wavering voice etc.

    Really enjoyed reading this. Well done.

    Reply

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