April
24
The Evacuation…100 word challenge by Jake
As the sun set, in the west and the sand brushed against our heads…”brother I’m so hot!”
“Me too!”Jack slowly said as he saw what led distanced ahead
“RUN” Shouted Zack
The storm came chasing them as fast as possible sweeping up anything in its way like a broom..
“C’mon brother we can … Hush! I..I cant..hear..it anymore!?”
Until!!…..from behind a massive palm tree..there it was! The storm
“Quick….” He said for the very last time “BROTHER?! WHERE ARE U? AHHHH BROTHER!!!!!” he screamed
Breaking news: A nine years old boy has bean found…passed out…on the beach…
To be continued….
Clever simile-comparing the way a storm clears things in its way to a sweeping broom. Also, interesting how you change your text type from that of a story into a news report of the incident.
Take care to include all the full stops you need. And remember that you need to write the word you, rather than shorten it to U in your writing.
Your storm is a clever creation. It is an interesting blend of a simile (broom) and personification (weather that chases children). This really adds to your storytelling. Keep it up, Jake.