April 1

My Magic Shoes by Isabella – 100 word challenge

One day while I was walking in the town, I saw a mysterious shop. In the window there were shoes that looked like diamonds. Next to that there was an ancient book that looked like a Roman empirors book . I was lost  I didn’t know what to choose. Sprinting into the shop , I grabbed the diamond shoes and ran to the counter I asked the lady to scan the shoes. I came out of the shop, put my shoes on and started floating higher and higher I felt upset I thought that nobody that could save me and bring me down 

Posted April 1, 2020 by isabella55 in category Uncategorized

2 thoughts on “My Magic Shoes by Isabella – 100 word challenge

  1. stoneschool

    Isabella, you chose the shoes not the book! You made it sound like you really wanted them-SPRINTING into the shop and GRABBING those shoes. Once you came out of the shop I found it a little difficult to know how you wanted me to read, as you ran out of punctuation. Check that you have shown the reader how you want your writing read by checking all your punctuation is included.
    Mrs Murrin

  2. Mr Tudge

    If this was an animation film, you started well with a perfect ‘establishing shot’. Your audience would know where they were and be able to anticipate the action to follow. The content of the film would be great too. However, if you slowed the film down, the audience would be able to follow the story easier!


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