April
1
Diary of a Creeper – 100 word challenge
Dear diary
Today I exploded right next to a guy who just found some diamonds, just after he noticed me a random purple thing appeared in front of me, it had black surrounding it. I hopped in it, all of a sudden huge there were pits and red liquid poured every where. I thought it was just red water but then it burnt so much my feet felt like a burnt paper. Sprinting to find the closest source of water I found myself lost and upset, I thought that nobody could save me, I though that I was lost forever.
I can see why you’d want a source of water! Ouch! Your final thought, ‘I thought that nobody could save me, I though that I was lost forever.’ leaves the reader hungry to know what did happen. Do you think that this might have been even more dramatic if you had it as a separate sentence?
Ryan
Lovely imagination. You have created a danger-filled and fun story. I also felt separate sentences at the end would add a ‘punchy’ finish.