March
31
The Queens Diamond Erin W
Everything was in position. Sprinting towards the palace gates, Adam felt lost, confused.
“Why was he doing this? ”
The rest of the team, jumped over the gates questioning why the guard’s weren’t there. They were stealing the queens diamond. He followed the others in hope they were going to turn around. Then there it was a book in fact a diamond blue book. He picked up the book and climbed back over the gates as he walked to a safe spot on a bench in the central of london. He opened the book and to his surprise, there it was.
Great start, I straight away wanted to know what they were in position for.
Take another look at this sentence, “Then there it was a book in fact a diamond blue book.” How could you add punctuation to make me read this as you would like me to?
Mrs Murrin
Clever punchline Erin. This story has some inventive concepts such as the jewel being in the diamond book. Your challenge is to ensure your reader has a clear understanding of all your ideas. Perhaps read it to someone to see if they follow all your story?
I love it wow