March
30
The boy doll By Zoe
A beautiful boy doll, sat on a single counter alone and wide eyed. He had rosy-red cheeks that sparkled and shimmered. A half smile was etched in his face and his lips were pale.
There he was in front of me, just behind the winter themed window. Thinking to myself, I was desperate for a doll and with just three steps he could be mine. Walking to the door, I twisted the handle, pulled the latch and tugged on the bolt.
It wouldn’t open or budge in the slightest. My anger grew like a beanstalk raging higher than the clouds.
Super piece of writing Zoe. My favourites include: half a smile ETCHED… and your sentence of 3 “Walking to the door, I twisted the handle, pulled the latch and tugged on the bolt.”
Take another look at your opening sentence. Where should the comma go?
Mrs Murrin
Totally agree with Mrs Murrin. I read this with a half a smile ETCHED on my face!