March
26
The Statues – Erin
They were all there today. Red, green, blue, yellow and white, were their colours. They stood like the guards at Buckingham Palace, in a straight formation just like statues. The red ones were all equally spaced, exactly a meter away from each other. Bearing in mind, I was so far away I could still make out their enormous detail. I walked closer towards them; then I heard it. The song call to the wild came on.
They started to move one by one, arms then legs.
“CRASH!”
Something crashed into the sea. Despite being statues their heads turned.
Nice punchy opening sentence- very cheery, before the mood changes.
Have another look at the sentence, “Bearing in mind, I was so far away I could still make out their enormous detail.” Where does that comma need to be?
Mrs Murrin